Today, I’m heartbroken. Leaving a relationship you really put a lot of effort into and believed it would work, is tough stuff. Especially at 48 when you've dated a lot, and you thought you had made some progress and found a match...maybe even a life partner.
I should have known better, I’ve done it several times including a marriage.
My son Orion once had a hermit crab that latched onto his finger and would not let go – held on so hard that I practically drown him in the sink before he let go.
That is how I love people.
I will twist, turn, stand on my head, do the splits (yes I still got it at 48) to please them.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel proud of this crazy habit.
I simply hate goodbyes. Once you become my people I cannot let go....I'm like this with friends too just not as persistent or as psycho thank GOD. You don't share your bed with your friends, excuse me I don't.
I would rather contort myself into a a pretzel than say – this is not the guy for me.
I will become a painter, songwriter, smoker, drinker, nonsmoker, nondrinker, play tennis and golf country club gal, not play any sports and only go to the theater (for 10 year that was for a marriage), Republican, Democrat, arm candy, arm wrestler, kick ass pool player, to please show me a shot ;)......I will go to graduate school to get a LCSW – that is Licensed Clinical Social Worker to counsel you. Now that is insane....and I did it with my X husband. Thankfully I stopped half way through realizing I'm not cut out to be a social worker. That was an expensive one.
Yes, these are really things I’ve done to stay in a relationship.
Maybe I should stop this madness??!!!! One would think.
I thought I had changed but here I am again after being separated 10 years/8 years divorced, 1 Billion hours of therapy, 10 thousand in couples counseling…..
Give up Amy.
This is not a movie called Rudy or Rocky. You're not winning the heavy weight championship or getting carried off the field. You are losing yourself and your mind.
This is not positive persistence-- this is ridiculous.
Hermit Crab - someone will drown you if you don't let go.
Or maybe you are drowning yourself.
